Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
