taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
