I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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