How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
