We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
