I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize