We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think a kid would responsible me up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
