the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
