Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
