I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize