I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i want to swaddle you in tequila
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
