Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
