he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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