Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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