btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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