That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
