I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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