Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
