Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
