he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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