She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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