i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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