He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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