Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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