After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
