my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Randomize
