What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
