why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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