i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
