Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
