May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
