I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
