Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
