When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
