p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
