My room smells like vodka and shame
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize