mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
