Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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