Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
