I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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