I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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