Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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