She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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