Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize