dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize