I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
