I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize