i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
