there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
