The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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