you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
