and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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