Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
