my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would fuck him just for his dog
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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