Got a toothbrush?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
