I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
