I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I party with great urgency now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
