Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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