we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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