how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
