Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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